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Annika has had a brain bleed.

OK, so it's only a small brain bleed. But you don't put the word "bleed" next to the word "brain" in a mama's head and expect that throwing in the word "small" is going to go too terribly far in keeping said mama from freaking the hell out.

We repeated the head CT about 7 hours after the first one, and the area of bleeding had not increased. She's going to have another head CT at 5:30 this morning. The only sticky point is that the neurosurgeons have said, "Stop that heparin already" and the transplant surgeons responded, "No way, dude Two liver transplants lost to clots trumps small brain bleed any day" *

* Conversation does not represent actual medical quote

Still, she's doing well and she's much happier now than a few days ago.

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So for one of my really good friends in my program Iapos;m always helping her with her papers, grammer stuff and sometimes with wording/word choice.

So I finally start working on my take home exam thatapos;s due Mon. Night.� and Iapos;m asking her questions of word order/choice of word.� Iapos;m getting one word answers from her, finally she says "i donapos;t know car stuff, sorry" ...well I�really donapos;t either.� and half the time I help her I�have NO�IDEA what the paper is about.

I�mean...
I love helping my friends with wording and stuff for papers, resumes, e-mails.� But i never seem to get that same kind of help when I need it. Or the person I need at that moment is unavailable.

I�need to find someone to be ME while Iapos;m someone else.

/rant

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Hey guys, i would like some opinions and insight on this matter.

iapos;m actually doing international studies(as part of my double degree)...picking between spain and japan. Ive always wanted to learn the japanese language, but iapos;m a little hesitant to go there, (which is compulsory in the year 2011) due to what a hear about racism and iapos;m not sure if they even have a big queer culture at all...

Spain was just a country i thought of because i know i would enjoy being there...not so much sure how it can help me in my future plus iapos;ve studied french before so i thought the language may be similar in structure.
I live in Sydney where being queer is something to be proud of and its a big part of the city nightlife...i just wonder if it is possible for me to be in japan for a year and be happy...Is there much of a night life there? Wht about queer culture for females? Iapos;m Indian so do people go through a bit of racism there?


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Me and hamish seem to have the same conversation every few months.

Itapos;s about me being on medication. About how I shouldnapos;t be on medication.

Itapos;s always about the depo or the seroquel. Today was the depo.

I feel real bad though. I donapos;t disagree with him- itapos;s not like i want to be on medication. I donapos;t want to be on a slow release injectable birth control method. But I have my reasons for doing it.

I kind of do want to stop my meds, i have plans for the seroquel, but Iapos;ve always assumed iapos;d be on the depo until I was old enough to get my tubes tied. And I know exactly why I canapos;t say yes to hamish when he asked me to go off it.

So I guess I kind of do have abortion issues after all. Or pregnancy issues at least. Itapos;s like, I still donapos;t regret having one, and I still donapos;t regret being like i was when i had it. But the thought of having to do that again, even to a "parasitic alien womb monster" terrifies me. The thought of being pregnant without my conscious decision to get that way scares me so so much. Ever since being pregnant, iapos;ve had an intense phobia of getting pregnant again. And as much as i know what im doing to my body by putting hormonal birth control into it, i also know how much it would hurt me to have to repeat past experiences.

I donapos;t know what the fuck iapos;m going to do here. Some part of me thinks I should say fuck no, iapos;m staying on the drugs. Some other parts are telling me to talk to my therapist and my doctor and try and resolve some issues rather than simply avoiding them repeating. Some part of me thinks i should comprimise- get off the seroquel and keep on with the depo until i can find better options. Iapos;m limited in my birth control options, I donapos;t really want an IUD and seeing as how my last pregnancy was a condom accident, iapos;m terrified of condoms as well. Not to mention having my periods come back, which would be really hard to get used to. And my cycles only just settled again... Do i really want to disturb it that much?

Grrragh. A weekend of thinking ahead. My appointment for my next shot is on monday- 2 days to think.

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Finn has a big boy bed. Not that he is sleeping in it. Nope, not even close. But we have it for when the time comes. Itapos;s a fun winnie the pooh one. It is currently sitting in our living room, because neither of us have bothered venturing into the basement to grab the allen keys to take it apart.
Started watching The 10th Kingdom. Not as good as I thought it would be. Donapos;t you hate when that happens? I do.


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